Searching For the Spark

It’s no secret that relationships are hard; that marriage is one of the most challenging things we ever go through in our lives. On average it takes about 6 years after serious problems develop for couples to seek therapy, which means by the time you’re sitting in front of me you have likely developed years of relationship sabotaging behavior.

It makes sense though, right? How do we make ourselves vulnerable again to the person who has hurt us over and over again in the worst of ways? The trouble with partners is they know our deepest shame, our biggest insecurities, and our life’s hurdles-they choose how to use that information. Yet, they’re still human, and people make mistakes. How do we build the desire and motivation to open our hearts to the idea of allowing this person in again?

So many people come into therapy because they’re lacking emotional affection/intimacy and feel misunderstood by their partner. We miss feeling loved, adored, doted on; and like we were that ideal couple! We got distracted with the laundry, the kids, the job, the responsibilities-when the hard friction moments came, we ran to the safety of these distractions. And now, who is next to us? We may know what toppings they like on their pizza, but we lost their hopes, dreams, and biggest fears of today.

So, here’s to reconnection. To the slow moments of learning each other again; emotionally and physically. To reviving the spark, reliving the joy and building for the future. Relationships are spirals, we build on each other, we develop and evolve over time.

Together, we can make sure your bond is greater than your insecurities.

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